An Interview with Melissa Meyer
Acupuncturist and Cosmetologist
When I met Melissa, I was very pregnant with my daughter and really tired of trying to find someone that would give me a decent haircut. We met at a house party and when she casually mentioned that she worked at a hair salon, I latched onto her. I got her info and told her I’d be making an appointment.
This is where I typically fail people. I crawl back into my cave and disappear. But something about Melissa really jived with me. I knew she wouldn’t steer me wrong. Somehow, I knew that. Maybe it was her confidence in how she spoke. Maybe we were just vibing. Either way, it worked.
Fast-forward over eight years and Melissa still cuts my hair. She’s someone I go deep with. I can get weird with her and talk about just about anything—ideas and thoughts that usually find me second-guessing myself in a vulnerability hangover. But I don’t get that with her. She meets me right where I’m at, imparting all of the wisdom she’s gained over the years we’ve known each other, and chuckles at me when I’m saying asinine things.
So without further ado, let me introduce you to Melissa. I love her. My hair loves her. And I hope you do, too.
Can you tell us who you are and a little bit about what you do?
My name’s Melissa Meyer. I’m a licensed acupuncturist and cosmetologist. I’ve been a hairstylist for 15 years, and in 2019 I started pivoting into Chinese medicine. I’m still in that weird brackish water between careers—like trying on pants that don’t quite fit yet and thinking you can lose/gain weight so you’ll buy them anyway—kind of awkward. But I’d like to emphasize that Chinese medicine is really good for my Western, linear brain; it stretches me, makes me think sideways, in circles. That’s been fun, and also sometimes maddening, and also what keeps me here.
What was the spark that made you take the leap into entrepreneurship/creative work?
It wasn’t a spark. It was more like a shove. Survival. Grad school + Covid in 2020 = oh f*ck. So I worked for myself. It wasn’t this brave, glamorous choice; it was, “Okay, I need flexibility and I don’t want to be around people right now.” Terrifying at the time, but also, necessary.
What’s a belief you had about success at the beginning that you’ve completely changed your mind about?
Back when I first started doing hair, success was about being a damn good stylist. The *best* I could dream. That was it. Now, after years of burnout and gross boundaries, success looks like balance. Money is fine and annoyingly necessary. But it’s just a tool, not the whole picture. I don’t buy into hustle culture anymore. I want to live like I practice: grounded, steady, actually healthy.
Was there a “this is it” moment—or one that almost made you quit?
For me, it’s never been fireworks. It’s quieter than that. It’s walking through a door that just opens without you forcing it. Or floating downstream, letting the cool, soft water carry you when you want; feels playing and even when swimming upstream for it still feels right. That’s what my “this is it” moments feel like. Subtle, calm, playful. Whether you’re paying attention or not, you’re there.
What’s one unconventional thing you do that keeps your creativity or business running smoothly?
I keep taking classes like a maniac. Whenever I feel stuck or uninspired, I invest in learning something new. It gets me out of my head, reminds me why I’m doing this. It’s not glamorous, but it works every time. I’m taking lots of classes right now. Read into as you may.
Do you have rituals that help you stay grounded or creative?
Kind of, but they’re loose. Some mornings I move my body. Some mornings I just…rest. A lot. (But too much hurts my back) My meditation practice isn’t disciplined either. It’s built into my day between clients, before and after work. Sometimes it’s counting breaths, sometimes it’s sutras (I love the Bodhisattva vow). Lately I’ve been into Zen Buddhist meditation. It doesn’t make me “creative,” exactly. it just keeps me centered, and then creativity kind of happens on its own.
When self-doubt creeps in, what’s your go-to way of talking back to it?
I don’t fight it anymore. I’ve made friends with it. She’s a nasty bitch in the worst and *best* way. Doubt is part of progress. I’m naturally skeptical, and I think skepticism is actually useful. It forces me to ask, “Is this worth continuing? Do I need to change something?” Doubt keeps me humble.
What’s the most surprising high of running your own business? And the most humbling low?
The paradox: you’re surrounded by people all day, and you’re still lonely. That’s the high and the low at once. I crave solitude, but I also grew up in a big, chaotic family and love the energy of others in the house… but not in my room. Balancing both is tricky. What helps is hanging with friends who also run businesses. Like, literally we don’t even have to talk about work, I abhor that. we just…get it.
How do you keep creating when your creativity feels like it’s gone quiet?
Honestly, I don’t think creativity goes away. It just gets buried under noise. Our egos are loud, our brains are louder, and that blocks the natural flow. With both hair and acupuncture, there are rules and protocols. But the real art comes from how you apply them. It’s not the final result, it’s about the path you take to get there. That’s where creativity lives.
If you could whisper a piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be?
Don’t force doors open. I used to bang on them until I would hurt myself. You can’t shove a square peg into a round hole, and even if you sand it down to fit, it’s down right sad. Closed doors are closed for a reason. Respect that. Quitting isn’t failure, it’s wise.
If you could write a letter to yourself on the day you first started, what would the first line say?
Probably something like, “Stop trying so hard to be someone, you freak, just exist.” I used to think being great meant knowing everything. But the masters know they don’t know everything, and that becomes fuel for curiosity. I’m not a master, but I’ve learned to lean into curiosity instead of hoarding information.
One memory that sticks is from this silent meditation retreat. After days of not talking, we were finally allowed to speak during the last supper (very Last Supper–coded). There was this cute couple at my table, and the girlfriend was gushing about her boyfriend’s farm “he’s really good at it.” The monk, in his broken English and thick Korean accent, just beams and goes, “You master!” The boyfriend looks embarrassed and says, “I just love it.” And then the monk, without missing a beat, bursts out laughing and yells, “YOU BETTER THAN MASTER.” Which… I don’t know, maybe you had to be there, but it killed me.
So ya, I’d probably include something in that vein.
What advice would you give to anyone starting out in your line of business?
Separate the actual work from the ego fluff. Don’t waste energy obsessing over Instagram grids, logos, LLCs. If you want to walk dogs, walk dogs. If you want to do acupuncture, do acupuncture. Just do the thing. Social media convinces us we need optics before substance. But that’s a distraction. Word of mouth will carry you way further than a $400 business card. Also, why is everyone getting an LLC? You don’t need it for your at home jewelry making biz.
What’s one belief, mantra, or truth that carries you through the hard days?
I’m a mantra whore... The Bodhisattva vow is central for me: it’s about unattainable compassion and is a whole alchemical mood shifter.
“Beings are numberless, I vow to liberate them;
Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to end them;
Dharma gates are boundless, I vow to enter them;
Buddha’s way is unsurpassable, I vow to become it.”
Lately, though, I’ve been meditating on a single word: “No.” It’s a Zen Buddhist koan: a koan is something like a paradox / riddle that helps to tire out the brain from braining, and allows our how self to embody what we are trying to transition towards.
We’re told to say yes to everything, but no is so important and powerful. No keeps your ego from driving the car. “It’s a lot like children: so don’t want it driving the car and you don’t want it in the trunk”. (I heard that from a hallmark movie in the throws of recovering from an abusive relationship)
Fast-forward 10 years: what do you hope you’ll thank yourself for doing today?
Not for scrolling Instagram. That’s for sure. Probably for letting go of attachments that don’t serve me. For taking vacations. For being brave in quiet ways that weren’t photogenic. For showing up for myself even when it was boring or private.
How can other people see your work or reach you?
Instagram: @bespokeacupuncture for business, @darlingmeyer for personal. Website: www.bespoke-acupuncture.com.
